Her Child
by the forgotten fate
Summary: Alanna deals with her child's disapearance. Her feelings as a mother when Aly is lost and she can't be there. RR no flames. (crappy tittle I know)


Disclaimer: I don't own Tortall or any of the characters. I hope you already knew that. This is to my new friends (well, I hope I have friends) at the Dancing Dove (IT'S SO COOL CHECK IT OUT!!!) One-Shot, so there will be no more!  
  
**Her Child**  
  
The short, redheaded knight sighed and rubbed tired eyes. Sir Lady Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau, rose slowly from her bed and placed the mirror she had been holding on a near by table.  
  
It had been weeks now since she had learned of her daughter's disappearance. Weeks of worrying anxiously for word of her only daughter.  
  
Alanna pulled a rough tunic over her head and swiftly left her tent. Marching through the almost silent camp she shivered hating the cold. The Scanarin boarder was calming down. A group of soldiers had left the day before last, not needed anymore in the dying war.  
  
Alanna swallowed a lump in her throat wishing that she had been amongst the soldiers headed for home. Perhaps she could deal with Aly's absence a little better if she was in familiar surrounding.  
  
The lady knight entered the stables quietly, most horses were already asleep, tired after a day of being ridden on endless patrols. Darkmoon whickered softly sensing his mistress's presence. Alanna stroked the horse softly. Savoring the feel of soft fur under callused palms.  
  
His leg had healed nicely and he was eager now to run and frolic with the rest of the horses that surrounded him. He bayed and Alanna silenced him with a lump of sugar.  
  
Unwanted tears burned at Alanna's eyes and she buried her face in Darkmoon's neck to hide them. Aly had been concerned for Darkmoon when Alanna had brought him home, now she couldn't even tell her the simple news of his recovery.  
  
She sniffed and wiped her nose with her sleeve. She was furious with herself, having fought with Aly the night before she disappeared. Caring only for how she seemed undirected in life! Now she was gone and Alanna feared she wouldn't even _have_ a future.  
  
She knew that she hadn't been the ideal mother to Aly, or any of her children but still it hurt to know that they weren't safe were she could always find them! By the God's this was her child, her baby! The human she had brought into this world.  
  
The Lioness closed her eyes as a conversation with her former squire replayed in her mind.  
  
_"Lady Alanna?"  
  
Alanna looked up to see her squire Nealan of Queenscove standing at an open door looking nervous.  
  
"Neal shouldn't you been in bed?" she teased. She knew Neal had been enjoying their holiday in her home of Pirate's Swoop; he had been up late a number of nights as the guards taught him to throw dice.  
  
Neal looked embarrassed "Yes, but...could I speak with you?"  
  
Alanna frowned; she couldn't remember Neal being this formal in a long time.  
  
"Yes of course take a seat"  
  
Neal strode forward and sat in a near by chair facing Alanna. Alanna herself sat on a table, arms crossed giving her squire her full attention.  
  
Neal cleared his throat awkwardly. "Your daughter," he stared, and began again more quickly "Your daughter Aly spoke to me today. I was in the stables alone when she came in. She had tears on her face and demanded to know why her mother loved Keladry of Mindelan better then her."  
  
Alanna's mouth dropped "She said what?" she yelled, jumping of the table.  
  
Neal swallowed and shifted nervously "She came to me and demanded to know why her mother loved a girl she had never met better then her own daughter."  
  
Alanna stared at her squire stunned, she knew she spoke often of Keladry but...  
  
"What did you say?" she demanded to know.  
  
Neal licked his lips staring Alanna back with a steady gaze. "I said that you didn't love Kel better, I said perhaps you only understood Kel better because she wanted to be a knight, but that you still loved her the most because she was your daughter."  
  
Alanna leaned back against the table stunned, she had never would have thought. She looked at Neal, the boy looked nervous, frightened.  
  
"Thank you Neal, I know it must have been hard for you to tell me this..."  
_  
Alanna let out a small sob in to Darkmoon's mane. She had felt so awkward after the conversation with Neal! She had gone to Aly's room intending to speak with her, but Aly had been asleep, and Alanna not wanting to wake her had merely stroked her child's reddish blonde hair and left.  
  
Her shoulders shook as she cried, begging the Goddess to return her child safely to her. All she wanted was her baby, her Aly.  
  
Alanna wiped her eyes with a worn sleeve. Patted Darkmoon once more before leaving the makeshift stables. Arriving once more at her tent she retrieved her mirror. Sitting on the bed she stroked the back feeling the chipping painted roses, and concentrated.  
  
END  
  
A/N: I'm sorry, that's not much of a tribute to the Dancing Dove, but it's the best I can come up with right now. While reading Trickster's Choice I kept thinking of Alanna, and how she was dealing with her child's disappearance. It's any mother's worse fear and I don't think Alanna would be any acceptation. Sorry if it sounds OC. OH! And one more note, I know that the Scanarin war WAS getting better, but that it was still pretty bad, WORK WITH ME!  
  
Another note, I'm sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes, I try ok? 


End file.
